Grudges
by Emilyy1408
Summary: After Bella's parents are murdered and changed by wild vampires trying to start a war with Newborns, can she survive? Will her new gift save her life, and other lives? When that family is ripped away from her, and her hate for vampires grow, is there anyone that can change her mind? E&B, a bit OOC. Read summary for a better idea.
1. Summary

_**AN:** Hi there! How's everyone doing? Well, I'd like to start with saying a huge thanks to _**Godisgood3**_ for editing and supplying me with new ideas and a fresh pair of eyes. I promise to everyone that I am going to finish this story, no matter if it means I don't get any sleep! I'm going to try to upload a new chapter every second or third day, depending on how long it takes me to write it and how long it takes to edit them and all that! _

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This is a story about Bella Swan, an ordinary girl that lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her parents. Her parents are killed by two vampires that are trying to start a coven of Newborns to wage a war on small villages to claim territory to the land and of the humans. Bella has been changed by those two and while she hates them for what they did, she has to go along with them or they'll kill her. Though, her new coven leaders aren't doing a great job and the Volturi is notified of their disturbance and comes to kill off the coven but leaves Bella alive, giving her a offer to join them because of her wonderful gift. This only fuels Bella's hate towards vampires more and she rejects, going to find a safe haven that she herd of, a small town named Forks. All Bella wants to be is human again, to not have to deal with the world she was sucked in to. But what happens when she meets the Cullen Coven, one that doesn't feed on humans. Can she put aside her differences and become a part of their Coven, or will certain members push her too far away?

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**_AN: _**_Please review with suggestions and your opinion. I'm a big girl, I can take it! _

_Thanks so much! _

_Much love, Emily. _


	2. First Day

_**AN:** A big thanks to Godisgood3, for making sure the errors were gone and everything flowed more freely. I don't know what I'd do without you!_

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"Bella, make sure you eat breakfast!" My mother sang out from upstairs. I sighed dramatically, taking the toast from the toaster and sitting in the living room munching on it.

Recently my mom was being a bit over protective as it was my first day of university. I had been successful in getting into the University of Phoenix, which I was thankful of since I live in Phoenix; I really didn't want to have to move away from here. I live with my parents, Renée and Charlie. My mom is erratic and very childlike which matches her looks as she looks very young for her age. She always goes into different binges too. For instance, last month it was pottery and this month it's sewing. Although I have to give her credit, she learns quickly and tend to excel at everything she does, except cooking. We all agreed that we didn't want her creating more explosions or burning down the house so I do the cooking around here. My dad is like the opposite of my mom. He is the chief of police and is a very quiet man; I'm more like my father than my mother. He isn't good with expressing his feelings or being in large crowds. He spends his free time at home with my mom and me, usually watching sports on T.V while sipping on a beer. They got married at a young age and still have that twinkle in their eyes when they look at each other. If I ever were to marry, I hope I had a marriage like theirs.

I heard my dad come downstairs and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Dad."

"Good morning Bells." That was my nickname from when I was young and he always kept on calling me that;, in a way I enjoyed him calling me Bells as long as nobody else started to again. Though given the choice, I would rather be called nearly anything than Isabella.

"You're off to work early."

"Yeah. There's been a few killings, no leads. Everyone's pushed into overtime."

"Killings?" I asked and looked at the newspaper, it's the first I heard of it. I read the article quickly and was shocked. There seem to be four killings, the body drained completely of blood and disposed in the open, four in one week. I continued munching on my toast as I kept reading. The police were stunned; there was no evidence, no leads, no witness and no suspects. All four victims had no ties to each other and weren't in anyway connected to each other. The police are begging for anyone with information to come forward. My eyes longed on the names longer than I wanted to, it felt as if they were engraved in my mind. Hannah Lewis, Brenda Leonard, Margie Clements, Mike Godin. The four victims of the serial killer. They all had families like mine, all had hopes, dreams, and this person just took them away. I'm glad that this is getting attention, hopefully someone will know something and they'll catch whoever did this.

"That's horrible." I said, half in a whisper, looking at my dad.

"Yeah, it is. So can you just, you know, be careful?" He stared at the T.V. as he said this, clearly embarrassed.

"Dad, you don't have to worry about me."

"Yes, I do. You're my daughter." I held my breath, trying not to show how shocked I was. This whole thing must be extremely hard on him, enough for him to really open up and be so worried enough to say it. We sat in silence and we finished our breakfast. He put on his gear and went out the door. As he left, my mom came bouncing down the stairs and nearly flew into me as I was going to put my dishes in the sink.

"Look Bella! I've finally finished it!" She laid out a quilt, her eyes gleaming. The quilt was made out the three of our old vacation t-shirts and the background color was my favorite, purple.

"Mom, that's fantastic." Sometimes I sounded like the mom and her the child. It was very unusual but that's the way we worked.

"Are we leaving soon?" Mom was rolling on her heels, clearly over excited. I wish I could share her enthusiasm as it felt like any other day for me.

"Mom, I can drive myself there."

"Oh come on Bella, please! We talked about this." Her mouth turned into a frown and she grabbed my hands. "You're my only child and I want to see you off on your first day, Bella. I promise this will be the only time!" She squeezed my hands tightly and her brows came together, she was full out giving me the puppy-dog-face. As I've said before, it seems like I'm the parent and she's the child. I nodded, giving in and I thought she was going to come out of her skin. We talked about that a few days ago when she insisted on driving me, even then I knew I'd say yes. I always do.

She hugged me tightly and ran back upstairs, humming as she always does when she's excited. It has to be one of the most comforting sounds in my life. I smiled and finished off my toast. I went upstairs into my room and got dressed and finished getting ready.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I expected to look different. I expected to look older, wiser, more prepared. But I look the exact same I did all through high school. My hair was a bit longer, going down my back, past my bra hook. I still had a little bit of baby fat in my cheeks that I figure I was never going to get rid of. There wasn't anything spectacular about me, I was a very ordinary nineteen year old. I suppose the only non-ordinary thing about me was how clumsy I am. I'm not joking, I couldn't walk on a flat surface without finding something to trip on, even if it was just air. I stepped away from the mirror, trying not to focus on how clumsy I am and brushed my teeth. I went back downstairs and sat on the couch, waiting for Mom to get ready. She is self-conscious of her looks, she thinks she looks old which is ridiculous. She barley looks old enough to even be a mother. I was always extremely fast at getting ready as I never really did anything. I didn't wear makeup, except maybe the occasional lip gloss. I didn't even style my hair, most of the time I let it flow naturally, not trying to impress anyone. I've had no luck in the men department and I don't see a point in trying now. Most guys my age just look at me like a friend, nobody has really ever had a crush on me and I never had a crush on anyone either. I accepted the chances of me being alone romantically and I don't see much wrong with that. I want to be an independent woman and not have to worry about a man or having anyone taking care of me.

After what seemed like forever, Mom was ready and we were out the door and into the car in a rush. Leave it to mom to be running late.

"Bella, be careful okay? Your dad mentioned that people have been getting hurt." She glanced my way, her eyes full of anxiety as we were driving on the highway. I looked out the window, wanting to avoid this conversation.

"I will be, mom." In some rare cases, she took back the mother role.

"I slipped some pepper spray into your bag, just in case." She bit her lip, clearly embarrassed. I tuned bright red, knowing now that I was carrying pepper spray. I didn't say anything, that would just hurt her feelings. If she wanted to be over protective I'd let her, I could have a much worse Mom. I was thankful I had her and Dad. I could never express how much they meant to me or what I'd do if I ever lost them They were my parents and without them I'd be no where.

We we're about to turn the corner where the university would be in sight but my mom pulled over and turned off the car. I looked over at her, half terrified at what she could be thinking.

"Bella," she started, her eyes getting watery, "I am just so proud of you and I love you so much." She reached over to grab a tissue and started dabbing at her eyes. A lump rose in my throat and I couldn't say anything, so I hugged her tightly. She hugged me back even tighter as if I could feel the intensity of her love through the hug, rubbing my back and trying to control her sobs.

"Mom, you're going to ruin your makeup." I smiled at her and she looked in the mirror, laughing.

"You're right. Enough of the mush! Off you go." She put emphasizes on every letter and pulled back into traffic, going around the corner. I grabbed my bag and gave her a kiss, not caring if people thought I was in kindergarten, I loved my mom.

"I'll be here to pick you up!" She half shouted to me as I closed the door. I left smiling like a fool, walking towards the huge building.

The university wasn't much bigger than my high school and looked very similar to it too. It was when I started getting closer that I became nauseous, the anxiety started kicking in. I didn't know anyone here as most of my old friends went away to different universities or colleges.

But as the day went on, my fears vanished. The day went by very fast, and I enjoyed it so far. All my professors seemed really interesting and none of my classmates took an interest of me which I was extremely pleased about. The more people focused on me the more they'd realize how clumsy and off balanced I was. I was walking out the universities doors when I heard a horn honk, a familiar horn. It was my mom. I could tell by just looking at her she was containing herself. I bet she was giving it her all to stay in the car and look uninterested on what's going on. It was only the brief look when I caught her eye that I knew I was going to be bombarded.

I climbed into the car and strapped myself in as if her questions would literally blow me away, and waited for the million questions she was going to ask me.

"So, how was it?" She was biting her lip, trying not to ask a hundred questions at one. I stifled a laugh and knew I should answer as quickly as possible.

"It was great."

"How were your professors?"

"They seemed awesome, really."

"And your class mates?"

"They seemed cool."

"Any cute boys?" With that question my face turned a whole new shade of red.

"Mom..." I moaned.

"Oh come on honey. You have to find a man for yourself."

"Not really, I'm happy the way I am."

"I know honey. I keep forgetting you were born thirty and keep aging." She joked with a huge smile. The questions kept coming and I answered them, half paying attention.

"Oh, and I got supper for us all!"

"Mom, you really shouldn't have." I could hide my surprise and fear very well and she picked up on that.

"Oh calm down," she said as we pulled into the driveway, "I ordered pizza."

"Oh." I smiled at her and we both laughed.

My dad got home about half an hour after we got there and we all ate together. Not much was said and I was thankful that he didn't bombard me with questions too. I cleaned up and we all moved into the living room. Usually, almost every night we take turns into picking out a movie and this night was my night.

I picked out a scary one, Sinister, as I wasn't a fan of romance movies and seen most of the action. Scary movies didn't bother me like they did my mom, but she doesn't complain with my movies and I don't complain when it's her turn.

It was about halfway through the movie when we heard a noise that seemed to be coming from the kitchen. My mom screamed and my dad nearly jumped that far off the couch that he hit his head on the ceiling. He flicked on the lights and we heard the noise again and everything went completely still. It was probably a raccoon but the feeling in my stomach told me otherwise. It's almost as if I could feel the danger, as if something horrible was going to happen. I shook off the feeling.

"Stay here." My dad ordered and we both sat very still, listening as best we could. Suddenly there was a snapping noise, like two pieces of wood hitting each other and then there was a loud thud. Mom and me were frozen, staring into each other eyes, not able to move or say a word.


	3. Murdered

_AN: Thanks to everyone who favorites this story! It means so much! Please keep reading, favoring, reviewing, etc! It brightens up my day to see reviews or seen the number of people that read it. And a big thanks to Godisgood3, who without I would publish crap. You don't know how much that means to me! And on a last note, check out my other story, Vindication! _

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It wasn't like in the movies, where something bad happens and the actors immediately jump up and run to the rescue. There wasn't that passing glance and then the action. There was no heightening music, there was no audience. There was only the two of us. We were both frozen, as if time had stopped, as if our brains were disconnected from our bodies. There was no measure of time or feelings, just the horror that immobilized us. I couldn't make myself move. I couldn't make myself think. There was absolutely nothing going on in my mind. Nothing. I stayed half turned, staring through the eyes of my mom who mirrored my face, staring right through me. Finally, after what could have been a minute or an hour, I could think again. My thoughts came back so slowly, it was if I had to do a workout to get them. I tried to close my eyes or make my limbs work but they were still paralyzed. What happened? That was the main thought in my head. Then I started saying "go to him". I gritted my teeth and made myself move, all my energy was put into moving and mentally I already felt exhausted. I stood up, grabbing onto the chair's back as I wasn't stable, and for the first time I couldn't blame it on my clumsiness. I took a few steadying breaths and I walked over to my mom, who was still staring through me than at me. I shook her hard, needing her to come back and I could see her eyes slowly focus on my face. It was so quiet, too quiet. There was absolutely no sound, as if the previous sounds never happened. If it wasn't for the fear and upset stomach, I wouldn't believe it was happening either. But it was.

I half lifted my mother off the couch and she put her arm around me for support and we slowly walked towards the kitchen. It was completely illogical; there was danger there so why go towards it? Why not run screaming in the other direction? That thought never came to me, all I could think of was my dad. I had an idea of what happened. I could picture it in my mind. That monster that was killing people came here. He probably killed my dad. I pictured my dad, laying on the floor, not moving. Never being able to hear his voice again. Never being able to take comfort in the quiet when it was just the two of us. There was no more of us. There was no more him, he was dead. I was certain of it. Now, that murderer was going to kill us too. It's as simple as that. Though as I knew this, my feet still carried us towards the kitchen. I was terrified but almost comforted as if there was still hope. I didn't want to live without him, didn't want to have to go on day by day never being able to see his face again. In what seemed like a lifetime, we rounded the corner, and my father's face was towards us, his eyes open. He wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing. Once again I was froze with fear, with horror, with disgust, with hurt. My mom however, wasn't froze anymore.

"Charlie!" Her scream went right through me, right through the walls, right through the house. It didn't even sound like her. It was so high pitched, so eerie. She screamed his name again and again and again but he never moved. He didn't blink. He was gone. She moved over to his body and kept on screaming. I slumped to my knees as she continued the pointless screams, as she continued to shake him and touch his face. I knew I should have done something. Called 9-1-1. Tried CPR. Checked him. Hugged my mom. Run away. But I couldn't move. I was frozen. My brain once again was disconnected from my body.

Suddenly, there was a white blur. I would have thought I was imagining it if I didn't feel the breeze, if I didn't get goose bumps. There was another blur and my mom was gone. Silence once again took the place. After the screaming and crying, the silence was painful. The fear vanished and adrenaline took its place. I got up and ran over to my father and put my hands on his neck, to see if there was a pulse. There wasn't. There wasn't anything I could do for him. He was gone and I was almost sure so was my mom by now. That comforting feeling, that hope, vanished. But I had to go to her, but where was she? And what was the blur?

"Bella! Run!" My mom's screams were cut off and I followed them to the living room. There was two people there, leaning over my mother's body. The girl looked up at me and I stopped breathing.

She was absolutely gorgeous. The most beautiful person I have ever seen. More beautiful than any actress or singer. More beautiful than anyone could dream. She had long, golden blond hair that was in waves all the way down to the small of her back. Her face was perfect! She had a slender nose. Her cheekbones were chiseled to give her even more beauty. Her lips were full and red. She was very thin but looked so powerful. And pale. She was whiter than a ghost. As if she had never been in the sun before. But something was off... Her eyes. The way they focused on me. As if I were prey. But there was something else about them. They were red. Her eye color was a blood red. And her lips...she licked her lips and away went the red color. It was blood. I backed up to get a better picture and she stepped aside to give me the perfect view.

There was someone else there with her. A man. He was leaning over my mom's body, holding tight onto her wrist, his knuckles white. She was squirming, gurgling. I looked closer and I could see his mouth on it, on her wrist. His throat was moving as if he was drinking something. Finally, she stopped moving and went limp. I looked back to the beautiful girl's face and she smiled wickedly, to confirm what I was seeing. He was...drinking her blood. I should have moved, stopped him, tried to take them on but I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Of off whatever it was that I was seeing. I knew what I was seeing, a man drinking Mom's blood, though my brain didn't register it.

What were these people? Were they even people!? A word kept crossing my mind, vampire. But those are a fairy tale, they don't exist...do they? The man rose to his feet in a blur and was only inches from my face. He looked so similar to the female. So beautiful. He had short black hair that was spiked up. He had a longer nose and smaller lips. His eyes were red. His skin was pale.

"Roy." The woman spoke and he turned to look at her. Her voice sounded like wind chimes, like music, it flowed so delicately from her lips that it actually froze me, yet again.

"Yes, Evelyn?" His voice sounded even better that it made my head spin. I could barely focus. I don't know if it was from the trauma of what I just witnessed (whatever it was) or their voice, that made me want to faint. I could barely hang on, I could see it getting dark at the edges of my sight.

"I think we should keep her. She's young and looks strong." She nodded towards me. Keep me? What?

"I agree. And assuming these are her parents, nobody would miss her."

I could barely focus on what was happening, on what the angle-demons were saying.

"I'll take her. By the looks of her, she'll be passing out soon. Her heartbeat is weak and she's almost as pale as us." The man chuckled. I wanted to choke. How could he possibly know that?

"I'll clean this up. I'll meet you there in four days, after everything's taken care of."

That was the last thing I remember, and as if on cue, the man put out his arm a second before my head could hit the floor


	4. Explanations

_AN: Hello everyone! Sorry for the long delay but I have been working double this weekend and when I got home I was just too exhausted to even TRY to write. In this chapter, there is profanity. This is rated as T and if you don't like reading a little bit of curse words this is where you should probably stop reading. This is where Bella is starting to change, another personality is coming into effect. This is to help shape her into another person and establish her hate for vampires. A huge huge huge thanks to Godisgood3 who always has the best ideas and suggestions! Seriously, you are a lifeline! Thanks everyone for reading this far and I promise to update more frequently! Much love always, Emily :D_

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The horror of what I seen, whatever it was, started flowing back into my mind. My dad, laying on the floor lifeless. My mom, screaming and thrashing on the floor then becoming motionless. Those two beautiful and strange creatures. One sucking on my mom's wrist until she was dead.

It was a like vivid nightmare that I was living. Something out of a horror film. I just wanted to wake up and get my mom, for her to listen to my nightmare. For her to tell me to stop watching scary movies and to tell me that everything's okay. I want to be able to hear her humming or embark on a new adventure with her and think how ludicrous it is. I want the peace and quiet I had with my dad. I wanted to know that they'd both be there when I got home. I wanted to go off to university, to meet new people. To maybe fall in love. I never wanted any of that, but now I knew it was possible, I wanted it more than ever. I wanted back the simplicity of my life back, even though it feels like that life was a hundred years ago.

I still felt fuzzy and groggy, as if I had been drugged. It was the same feeling when I had been put to sleep to get my wisdom teeth removed. I knew that wasn't the case, my brain just shut off. I passed out after witnessing both my parents being murdered. My head felt so heavy! It's as if everything I witnessed had weight and is placed on my head. It took all of my might to just open my eyes.

The room was horrible! There was dim lighting and it smelled horrible, like urine and sweat. The walls were a white-ish color that seemed to have yellowed over time. There were cracks in the wall and it was clear there was water damage. There was nothing else in the room, just the bed I was laying on. It seemed ironic that I was judging this place when I have more important things to think about; like where the hell am I?

I heard the door knob turn and I held my breath and my heart started to race. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. My eyes were glued to the door. I knew who would be walking in. I knew it would be those murderers. The word vampire sprang into my mind again. And I had a good idea that it wasn't far from the truth. Briskly, those two angle-demons walked in. They stood at the foot of the bed, both gazing down at me. Instinctively I moved to the head of the bed, to put as much distance between us as possible.

"Hello." The male spoke. I couldn't remember his name though I'm sure the woman said it before. I couldn't open my mouth, I just kept staring at his beautiful inhuman face. I felt uneasy, besides scared and just pissed. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. It wasn't from what I witnessed. It wasn't that I knew I was going to die, probably here. It was something else. They kept looking at each other, as if there was some sort of plan. And I could bet everything that I was a part of it.

"Hello." The woman spoke too, and my eyes shifted to her. Anger flashed through me again.

"My name is Evelyn, and this is my husband Roy." I started coming back to my senses and I nodded. I didn't want to let my anger out considering I seen what they did so I didn't trust myself to speak yet.

"What's your name?" Evelyn asked me, her voice clipped.

"Bella." My voice was low and I was unsure if they even heard me. I was still so scared of them and frazzled from what I seen to get any emotion in check. I should be screaming at them, trying to fight them but the fear was too raw; it took over the anger. The uneasy feeling still hadn't left and that was what mostly held me in place. Somewhere, probably at the back of my mind, I already knew it would be pointless to try to fight them. If there was even a speck of hope that I were to survive, I'd have to do this their way.

"Bella." Roy started, "we have a lot to discuss." The woman nodded in agreement. They had no idea how much was to be discussed!

"First. We want to get to know you." As she spoke she paced back and forth. "And then you'll get to know us."

Something flared inside me. It was the anger. It was the disgust. It was the contempt I had for those people. I wanted to be able to control it but I couldn't.

"You killed my parents!" It was blunt but I had no control over my mouth. Staring at death I should be careful of what I say but at this point I don't care. They're going to kill me anyway, they might as well hear what's on my mind. Suddenly, all my fears were gone. I wasn't scared of them anymore. In fact, I had only the one emotion, hate.

"Yes." They said in unison, glancing at each other.

"Why?"

"Because we were thirsty." Evelyn winked at me and sat back on the bed, crossing her legs.

"Who the fuck are you people?" I have only cursed a few times in my life, and only ever under my breath. It wasn't really me, in fact, I couldn't believe I was actually saying this. I was a timid person at heart, but apparently I was changing. They both looked at each other, wide eyed. There was no way I was backing down now, the anger and hate for those two people are too strong. Another part of me is coming out, a part that I never had to use before. I never got angry at anyone, ever, so I never got to actually know this side of me.

"Maybe this would work better if you got to know us first then." She waited for a reply but I never said anything, I just kept glaring at her.. She sighed and continued, as if she said this a hundred times. "We're vampires."

This should have come as a shock to me. There is no way possible that vampires could exist. They're a fairy tale, they're not real. But... but after what I seen, after I seen Roy drink my mom's blood, I believe it. There is no logical explanation for what was happening because there was none. Not a moment from the time they entered my house was logic involved. Nothing made sense except for that statement. I should have been freaked out but I wasn't.

"As you probably are thinking, we don't look like vampires. We're not dressed in black gowns, we don't have fangs, and we don't have to be invited into a house to enter. All that is bull. We act, for the most part, like humans. We socialize. We can go out and about, pretending to be normal. However, there are special things about us. We are incredibly fast." As she spoke Roy went to the other side of the bedroom in a blur. "We are strong." With one finger he broke through all of the handles on the dresser. "Also, there are things that make us the perfect hunter. Like our beauty. Its powerful, we could make any human follow us just because they think we're beautiful. Our scent, which makes us smell heavenly to you. It gives you comfort, and helps you trust us. But we rarely have to use those. It's not as if a human could ever escape us. All of our senses are heightened. We can see every speck in the air, we can hear the blood rushing through your veins, we can smell your scent, we can taste the air, and we can feel every fiber in a sheet."

My mind was spinning, trying to digest this new information. My thoughts from earlier were confirmed. They were indeed vampires. They do exist. I expected to not be able to believe it, to disregard it. But I never. The only thing hard to believe is their traits. No fangs, no coffins, etc. Everything you would normally think about vampires doesn't apply to the real them. And the fact that they look human, in a way. Besides their absurd beauty and red eyes, they'd look normal. But they're anything but normal. And they already proved that, twice.

"And you?" Roy moved back to the bed and Evelyn took a seat at the edge and studied my face. I knew it was pointless, but I started babbling. It gave me time to fully digest what was happening. To comprehend what the hell was going on.

"My name is Bella. I have lived in Arizona all my life. I recently got accepted into the university there. I love to travel and read. ". That was all I could come up with. There wasn't much more about me; that was it. That was the basics of who I am. Not only that, but I couldn't remember anything else. I was in a trance of panic.

"Interesting." Evelyn touched her lip, patting it as if she were deep in thought.

"Why did you kill my parents?"

"Like I've said before, we were thirsty. But to go into more detail, we passed your house and caught a delicious scent that screamed at us. We couldn't possibly turn it down. Apologies that you had to witness that. Well, Roy wanted to apologize." I in check. I has to be logical and rational right now. I wanted the truth before they killed me. I couldn't think of my parents. I couldn't think of anything off topic. I wanted to know the whole truth, everything, before I was gone too.

"And it was you that were killing people in the city." I meant that as a question but it came out as a statement. Both Roy and Evelyn nodded.

"Anyway, back to the best topic. See, I want to take over Alaska. The humans are spread out enough that we could feed as much as we wanted to without ever getting caught. It's the perfect environment for us. There are small covens there, that's a group of vampires living together, and I want that territory. However, they know how good it is there too and, wouldn't give it up freely. The only way to get their land is to create an army. To battle them for it. I have been thinking of it, planning it, and it's going into action now. We're going to change you, Bella. You're going to become one of us. You'll be the first to join our new coven."

There were no words to describe how I was feeling, except the only word floating in my empty mind.

"No. Go to hell." The word just flew out. I had no control of it. I went to sit up and make a run for it even after hearing and seeing their ability.

"Bella, you don't have a choice." Evelyn said, not even moving."It's not going to hurt Bella."

"Fuck you." More profanity shot from my mouth and I was as stunned as they both looked.

"Listen here. We chose to keep you alive. You don't have a choice in this matter, I wasn't asking you if you wanted to be changed. I'm telling you, you little bitch. And if you try to run for it, you'll be quite sorry. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. And it'll only be easy or hard for you. Either way, I get what I want."

I glared at her, every ounce of hate I had for that woman was coming out in that one stare. If looks could kill she'd be dead. I didn't move, I didn't even blink.

"Bella, we're going to inject the venom into your blood stream with a needle. Normally, the pain would be excruciating but we learnt that using enough morphine would kill off the pain. I have it all here, you won't feel a thing." Roy looked at me apologetically, it was obvious that she had control over him.

Without having time to think or react, she pinned me down, covering my mouth. I tried and tried to move but it was impossible. She was as hard as a boulder. I didn't even budge! Roy blurred out the door and came back in with a large suitcase. He opened it up and lifted it up so I could see what was inside. It was literally completely full of needles. Hundreds. He dumped them onto the bed and picked one up. Specifically. I started to scream and tried to move frantically but it was useless, the more I tried to move the harder she pressed down. I swear to God if she pressed any harder my ribs would have broke.

"This one is to put you asleep. It's easier for the both of us this way." Without another word or a warning, he jabbed it in my arm. I could almost feel it going through the veins. I wanted to fight, I wanted to even though I knew it was absurd. But before I could even fully think of doing it, my eyes shut and I was out.


	5. Changes

_AN: Thank you for reading this far! I really do appreciate it! Follow this story and please review! Tell me what you think and what you'd like to happen etc etc. A huge thanks to Godisgood3 who gets back to me in such a fast time! Much appreciated love!_

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The drug knocked me out completely. When I started coming to again, I felt the pain. It wasn't unbearable but it was still there. It was like a fire being put out, it still burned but it burned at a slower pace, at a lower temperature. It was like I was sun tanning on my back patio and the sun was a bit too warm. I could picture my skin turning red but I enjoyed it, regardless of the fact I never could tan. I opened my eyes but there was only blackness and I couldn't hear anything and I couldn't feel anything either except the warmth. It was like I was floating, it was quite enjoyable. I couldn't recall anything, it was if I was dreaming. There was just the warmth and the darkness. I wasn't afraid, why should I be? There wasn't anything to fear here. I just let myself go, I closed my eyes and enjoyed this.

After what felt like a lifetime, I started getting flashbacks. At first they were just random and didn't make any sense. Then the pictures started getting clearer and I could remember better. I remembered my parent's faces and what happened to them. I remembered those two vampires and what they told me. Eventually, I remembered what was happening to me. I was changing, I too was becoming a vampire. I didn't want to! I'd rather be dead then become one of them. I hated them. I loathed them. They're an abomination! They killed innocent humans just to survive, they killed my parents. I wanted them to die, if those things could even die. Now I was becoming one of the things I hated more than anything, a fucking vampire.

I remembered the conversation from before, when they told me about their little plan. I remembered when I cursed, how shocked I was. I couldn't believe I said it! But now, I don't care. It doesn't even matter anymore. I'm not Bella anymore, I'm one of them. I'm a monster, I'm going to be a killer. I'm going to kill innocent people just to live too. I'm going to be as bad as them. I'm going to wreck people's lives, I'm going to take away mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, siblings. I'm going to be in the newspaper, labeled a serial killer (which I would be, technically) but not the kind the police were thinking of. It's all over now, my life as I knew it. I'm a monster, just like those things. I wish there was a way out, I wish I could turn back time and know what I do now. I would have done anything in my power to change things, but I can't now. I'm completely powerless. I'm nobody now. Nobody. There's no more university, no more friends, no hope of finding love or traveling. I'd be living in the darkness now, becoming part of a war coven. I'm going to be a killer, that's going to be me now for the rest of eternity.

The heat was fading and I started noticing changes within me. I could feel the warmth going through my muscles and slowly dimming. As the heat left I could feel my muscles tighten, become stronger. It was the weirdest feeling in the world! But that wasn't the only change that was going on, just the only one I instantly felt. After a while, my hearing turned back on. I could hear everything, literally everything. I could hear water going through the pipes in the walls. I could hear birds chirping and critters moving through the grass outside as if I had my ear to the ground. I could blood rushing through my veins, and even my own heartbeat. Before, I could kind of feel it, like when I had a headache, but that wasn't the case right now. I could actually hear every thump.

I could even smell every little thing, not that I really wanted to. I could vaguely remember what I smelled when I first woke up here, urine and sweat. But there was so much more now. I could smell tobacco, rot, dirt, mold, feces, vomit and a hint of cleaners. It turned my stomach and I wanted to throw up! This has got to be the dirtiest place on the planet!

My touch was given back also, a few minutes after my sense of smell. I laid out my hand on the sheet and gently grazed my finger tops over it and I remembered what Evelyn had said "_I can feel every fiber in a sheet_." She was right. I could feel the every thread that was woven to create this bedding. It was exquisite! It was completely inhuman. I snapped out of the trance I was having with my new senses and remembered why they were changing.

Everything that's changing is for one reason; to become the perfect killer. These new senses aren't because I'm turning into something wonderful, it's because I'm turning into something awful. There is no reason to rejoice this! I shouldn't even be paying attention to any of this; if I had any control over it I wouldn't.

At last, the heat started to fade away and in its place was a sound, like a helicopter taking off. It took me a second to realize that sound was my heartbeat. I was shocked to say the least! It kept speeding up and it felt and sounded like I was going to take off! After about a minute or two of my heart racing I could tell it was at the end of its trip. Maybe I wasn't turning, maybe something went wrong with me and I was going to die. It started to slow very fast and finally, with one last thud there wasn't a beat. I knew it was over, but I was still alive. I could feel the disappointment wash over me, almost suffocate me. I was finally changed. And there was nothing more I wanted to do than die.

I heard two sets of footsteps coming towards the room and I knew exactly who it was, who else could it be? I caught their scent which was even more potent than before and it repelled me. Everything about them repelled me! They stood at the door and after Evelyn took a deep breath, she opened the door and came in, Roy following her.

"Hello Bella, welcome to our world."

My eyes snapped open, and what happened next I had no control of.


	6. Threats

_AN: As always, I want to thank Godisgood3 for helping me! :D Please review!_

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Before I could even process what was happening I was crouched in the corner, hissing. It was only Evelyn in the room and she looked like she expected this.

"Come on, get your little tantrum out. We have business to discuss." Evelyn said this as she folded her arms, the way a mother would when a baby is fussing. I stood up and gained control over my body. What happened was instinctual, my body just reacted! My eyes focused on their faces and the hate and anger I had towards them surfaced again. I took three deep breaths to steady myself and something caught my attention. It was a scent, a different scent than what was in this room. It actually repulsed me to the point I had no choice but to hold my breath. I couldn't tell what it was or where exactly it came from. It seemed like it came from everywhere, haunting me, infiltrating me. I don't know how long I was holding my breath but by now I should have felt uncomfortable. No way could I ever hold my breath for this long! My mind started working faster, and though it was uncomfortable not to breathe, I realized that breathing wasn't necessary! Just another reminded I was no longer human and instead a disgusting monster.

"Roy is coming, he has something for you. Something that will help." She winked at me as she turned slowly towards the door. I was stunned, what could it be? What could possibly help me? The only thing that he could do to "help me" was to end my life, or existence, or whatever it was I was doing. There was no way she'd ever let that happen. I doubted it very much that he was going to kill me, but could that be what that horrid stench was? I waited patiently, trying not to think of what in the world he could be bringing me. I could hear the footsteps coming closer to the bedroom and I kept my breath held. Finally, he was in sight and was carrying something over his shoulder. I took in a deep breath and the stench was intensified, I cut off my breathing instantaneous. My new eyes focused on what he was carrying and I was petrified! I backed into the corner and pressed my hands behind me, I slowly became frantic.

"This is for you." Roy said as he dropped the human. He was male, middle aged, a little plump. I looked up at him, my eyes full of questions. What did he want me to do!?

"I don't want that." I said, my voice sounding funny since I wasn't breathing. Both of them froze and just stared at me with blank expressions.

"Yes, you do Bella." Evelyn said, walking towards me. "It's in your nature, the scent..." she took a deep breath and her eyes rolled back in her head. She gained control and continued, "it drives you wild. The scent of them, the scent of their blood. It's intoxicating."

I looked into her eyes and thought how repulsed I was. I kept thinking I didn't want it. Evelyn gasped and backed up a few steps as if she was scared.

"How did you do that?" She asked, holding onto Roy's arm. For a second I seen fear in her eyes. I couldn't imagine what could frighten her!

"Do what?"

"How did your voice just get into my head? I could hear you in my mind!" She let go of Roy's arm and walked towards me again, but very slow.

"I... I don't know." I stuttered. She must be really cracked off, thinking she heard my voice in her head.

"She has the gift of mind communication." Roy spoke up, searching my face. "I've seen it before, just once. It's pretty useful and extremely rare."

"I'd say it is! This gives us a huge advantage! I told you changing her would be perfect!" Evelyn's eyes were dancing, but I was still confused. I had a gift now? And it was mind communication? This was unbelievable and they were mistaken. No way could I ever have a "gift"!

"Try it again, but to me." Roy's eyes focused on me.

_I don't want that human._ I thought and directed it at him. His mouth hung open and he nodded slowly.

"It's true. She has the gift." Roy confirmed and walked closer to me but I was still confused! What the hell were they getting on with now! Was this another joke? Something to try to get me to go along with them? Something to get me to be thankful they changed me? Because no matter what they did or tried to do, I will never be thankful.

"When some humans are changed, they gain special gifts. Some can read minds, see the future, control emotions or the weather, cause pain etc. Your gift is mind communication. It's probably the most influential gifts to ever have. Once you perfected it, you can plant ideas in someone's head. You can disguise your voice as theirs. You can make them believe what you're saying to them, they're actually thinking it themselves. It's a highly regarded gift, Bella. I've only ever heard of one person that had it."

"Yes, yes, this is all peachy. Bella, eat up. We have to go." Evelyn grabbed onto the hair of the human and simply tossed her to me. The man landed at my feet, a bit of blood running from his mouth. Was he still alive? I listened closer and I couldn't hear a heartbeat. He was dead.

"I can't." I said firmly, looking away. They both looked at me strangely, as if I wasn't telling the truth. "I have no desire to do anything to this human. I don't understand what you said about the scent driving me wild. It doesn't smell good, it smells quite awful actually. I can't stop holding my breath because it honestly repulses me."

"You don't want to drink his blood?" Evelyn looked at me, her mouth hanging open.

"No."

"You're a strange one Bella..." She said, coming towards me with a smile growing on her lips. "But you're going to be the most useful." Anger flared inside me again and this time I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't take deep breaths, there was nothing I could do.

"I'm not going to be useful to you." An animal came out of me, a rage I wasn't sure I could even handle. It was so deep, so raw, like it was the core of me now.

"Don't fool yourself. Yes you are. You're mine now, my little creation. I'm the reason you're here with your gift, and you're going to help me." Evelyn stepped closer to me, her voice low and clipped.

_Fuck you, murderer. _I knew my voice was in her head again because she had that strange look on her face. She shook it off and came even closer to me. I barred my teeth and a little growl escaped my lips.

"If you don't do exactly as I say, I'll get the Volturi involved." The rage inside me diminished and curiosity took its place. I didn't say anything but I guess the look on my face gave everything away.

"The Volturi is like the police of our kind. They make the rules and they make sure the rules are followed. They have a guard which is made up of a lot of different vampires with gifts. One, Jane, has the gift of pain. She could look at you and within second you'd be on the floor in the most pain she could make you feel, more pain than you would think possible to experience. The Volturi is mainly in place to kill rogue vampires, and let me tell you sweetie, it's not a nice death. It'll be only too easy to let them know of your existence and have you killed."

"Go for it." I said, smiling at her. It's the best thing that could happen to me! I don't care if it was a slow, painful death. As long as the death part would follow.

"I would also tell them that you told certain humans about vampires. That is our number one law, to stay "under radar". If we act suspiciously or tell a human about us, we're dead. Now, let me see..." She paused to tap her lip with her finger. "What were your friend's name's again? Oh yeah! Megan... Lisa... Andrew... How would you like to see them die the most horrific death because of you? Don't you think the murders of your parents were enough to see, Bella?" Evelyn smiled the most evil smile in the world. She knew she had me. I had to go along with her, I had to be her puppet now. I had no choice in the matter. There was no way I would ever let anyone hurt the people I cared about! Not only that... but the Volturi sounded even worse than her. I also knew now that my human life was completely behind me now, I could never go back. I could never have friends or anything of the sort, I had to be completely alone because if I ever befriended someone, or cared about someone, they'd be used against me. Just like my old friends were being used against me.

I looked over at Roy and his face was filled with disgust and hurt and I wondered if that's what she done to him. I guess only time will tell, maybe. But for now my only option was to go along with her. But I swear, one day, I will get my revenge.


	7. Planning

_AN: I've seriously read this a thousand times trying to make it longer, better, whatever but this is the best I can come up with. I cannot wait to get further into the story! A huge thanks to Godisgood3 who hasn't given up on me yet! Thanks so much hun! R&R_

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"Whatever, if you don't want to drink human blood fine. I honestly don't care. We have to start talking business, planning this. The faster we do this the better!" Evelyn sat on the bed and I sat down too, even though I felt no need to do it. It was if I could stand all day and never need to move or sit down or rest. Roy joined us and everyone was quiet for a few minutes. I know that if I don't help, anyone I was ever in contact with would be hurt. I can't let anyone else be hurt like I was so I'd have to help them to the best of my ability even though it sickens me. But as I said before, there's no choice here.

It kind of exotic really, I could feel myself slowly change. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. I felt distant even from myself. And the anger...there was no way I could keep suppressing. I was faintly reminded of a biology class I took that talked about Darwin's thoughts of evolution. Basically, he stated that creatures changed to stay alive, survival of the fittest. Only in my case, I was going to have to change to keep everyone else alive. It wasn't something that I had to think of and waver my options, there were no options. I had to go along with her, end of discussion.

"What exactly are we dealing with here?" I asked, Evelyn smiled at me in approval that I decided to do this the easy way.

"There are two covens in all of Alaska. Now, the reason Alaska is so good and important to me right now is mainly because of the climate. Bella, temperature doesn't affect us. We are very cold to the touch of humans because essentially we are dead. Blood doesn't flow through our bodies to warm us. This being said, Alaska will feel like any other place to us."

"And it's easier to blend in. Like Evelyn said before, we can't stand out to humans more than we already do or the Volturi will come after us. We can't go out in sunlight, not because we'll burn, but because when in sunlight, our skin gives of something like a glow. It's like a diamond in the light, the color is reflected off of it. We have the same effect." Roy concluded.

"Another thing. Vampires have been creating armies since our existence for this very reason, to take over areas. However, they couldn't control themselves. They'd turn too many too quickly and it's impossible to control a newborn. Except you. But you're not a typical newborn. Usually, in the first year it's pure hardcore blood lust. Barely anything else is on their mind except blood. They rely on their instincts which makes it nearly impossible to control them. They'd just go off and kill hundreds of humans and not covering their tracts. Human's noticed it and so did the Volturi; they wiped everyone out. From then on, when creating an army, you have to be precise, careful. Never staying in one spot for too long and never changing too many. We cannot be detected." Evelyn's voice was grave as she said this and it sickened me! I had a brief thought that if I did something to make her plans more pronounced then the Volturi would come and kill all of this. However, I knew that wouldn't work. She'd say that I told my friends about vampires. The Volturi didn't seem like they needed proof or anything, they were as horrible as Evelyn! I assume that's what all vampires are like. Blood crazy, murderers, morbid creatures. And now I'm one of them.

"I think the best idea would be to change one at time, from different cities. We have to keep moving so people won't notice anything too suspicious. How long are you willing to take to create an army?" I asked.

"The sooner we get this done, the better. Then we can start on a new territory."

"Okay. What we should do is change one every couple of months. That way we have time enough to get enough control over their blood lust and if they're too much to handle, we can just kill them or let them go." Evelyn's eyes glowed at my idea.

"That's perfect! And we have time to train them how to fight! Bella, you're a genius." I had to fake a smile and it had to be one of the most painful things I ever done in my life. It was sickening to know I was helping her, for her to think I was now on her side. I wish I could just run away but I knew it was useless. There was nothing I could do. I had to put my feelings far enough aside to save lives. I just had to wait long enough...long enough for everyone I know to die and that way she had nothing to threaten me with. I just couldn't befriend anyone, I couldn't show an interest in anyone. I had to wait, wait for the years to pass and then I would be set free. Nobody could harm anyone I cared about because at that point, there would be nobody I cared about.

"How do you kill a vampire?" I asked.

"It's not easy." Roy spoke up. "You can't shoot them or anything like that. It's like we're invincible. Vampires are the only things that kill other vampires. Basically, we have catch them on fire. Burn them. It's easier to rip them apart and burn the pieces. But if you just rip them apart and leave them, the body parts will come back together and they'll become whole again."

"It's not easy to kill a vampire, especially a vampire with a gift that could help them. First, we'll train to you kill them. Then we'll start creating the army."

"And to change them?"

"Well, to change them Bella can be hard. We have venom, but for it to take affect to make the change happen, it has to enter their blood stream. The easiest way is to bite them. But after we get the taste of human blood...it's nearly impossible for us to stop." Roy nodded in agreement.

"But I don't desire human blood."

"You could change them Bella! It'd be perfect! It makes the change faster. It usually lasts three days, give or take half a day depending on how close the venom gets to the heart."

"I heard of this coven, The Denali coven. They don't survive on human blood but on animal blood. It's crazy but it works for them. Maybe that's another gift of yours, not needing human blood. However, you do need blood." Roy spoke up again and he looked hopeful.

When Roy spoke, I wondered what happened to him. In time, I will find out. Maybe he was once like me, just a human living life until disrupted by Evelyn. Maybe she threatened him or something like that, and he could never leave. I don't think he wants to do this, nothing gives me the impression that he likes hurting humans. Even though I had seen him attack my mom, I knew he wouldn't do it on his own. He was forced to do it.

"Everything sounds so amazing! Let's get started, shall we?" Evelyn's voice sounded more powerful, and it's now that shit was going to hit the fan.


	8. Power

_AN: Once again, sorry for the delay. I've been working SO much, including split shifts and I've been too tired to even attempt to write. I sincerely apologize! Please please review! I really want to know what you all think of this! As always, a HUGE thanks to Godisgood3, I would have seriously given up if it wasn't for her. :)_

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It's been three months since I was forcibly changed. I have learnt so much in such a short time. Like how much I wanted to cry, how much I wanted to be able to feel tears stream down my face. How much I wanted to sleep, to just drift off and forget for a few hours what I was and what I was doing. I learnt how insane it feels to wish to die when you're already technically dead. I learnt how damaging it was to hate everything about you and those around you, even if it was only two other "people".

I was a different vampire, not a typical newborn; not because I hate myself and how seriously fucked up I am, but because I don't have any of the traits of a newborn. I'm not blood crazy. I'm not fully reliable on my instincts. My thirst is completely under control considering humans don't at all appeal to me. The three main things that can make the distinction between a newborn vampire and a regular vampire.

I have also perfected my gift. I can speak directly to you without opening my mouth. I can make you hear my voice, or hear your own voice, as if it were a natural thought to you. Roy helped me with that a lot. We practiced over and over again considering there is literally nothing else to do. Time is nothing to me anymore. I don't count down the hours till a new day, I don't look forward to night. There's never anything special about a new day, and honestly, I couldn't care less. The only thing that I keep track of is how long I've been a vampire; that's the only thing I can never get off my mind. I could tell you right down to the minute, but I try not to think of that. I try to distract myself as much as possible.

I have been on best behavior around Evelyn and Roy. I keep getting better at acting, like I want to be here, be this, be with them. I keep giving them ideas on when or how to attack. We've even started plotting about changing someone. Of course, I'm going to have to be the one to change them since it'd be too hard for them to stop.

It astounds me how much has changed in these past months. Before, I was a happy girl living a simple life. I'm not her anymore. I'm much darker, not just because I'm a monster, though that is a huge part of it. I'm so different. The old Bella would never curse, would never think of wanting to die. But that's all I do now. I'm beginning to become cold, apathetic. I can feel it, sometimes when I think of people in general it makes me sick. But I can't think like that, I just can't lose the one thing that makes me different from those people. However, the one thing that will never change is my hate and disgust for vampires.

A week or so after I was changed, I spent most of my time with Evelyn. She taught me how to fight a vampire effectively and I was a fast learner, I had to be to keep the people I cared about safe. We have been talking about changing someone, to put our plan into action. I wanted to do it as soon as possible and I've been telling them that the sooner we get this started, the sooner she can have what she wants. Every single damn time I refer it to her as "her plan" she always reminds me it's "us". I swear I could rip her head off right then and there!

It was only a few weeks ago that they told me where we were; we were in Mississippi. How they got me here I'll never know! Truthfully, I don't even want to know. We were staying in the forest outside of a small town, far enough from the humans. We didn't need any of the necessities that humans needed so this was the best place for us. Evelyn seemed terrified to get too close to humans, except when she was feeding. She didn't have any I.D's or anything that proved she was alive, technically. She really didn't want anything to do with humans. We were sitting on a dead tree, not talking, just thinking. I'm assuming that Roy and Evelyn were thinking of the plan, at least I'm sure Evelyn was.

"Bella, I was thinking. You were right. We should get a move on with this. Where shall we go first?" Roy spoke up and a look crossed his face I couldn't understand. I knew one thing about, that he didn't want to be here. I knew he didn't want a part of Evelyn's games or maybe even this life. I wondered about him. I wondered how he ever met her. I wondered about who he was before this and why he's still here with her when it's so obvious how much he hates her. I wanted to get to know him so badly, I wanted to ask him so many things but Evelyn was always there, always listening.

"I'd like to go to Seattle." Evelyn's eye grew dark when she thought of this and looked directly at Roy.

"No." Roy said, staring hard at her. Clearly I was missing something.

"Scared for your little friends, are you Roy?" Evelyn was taunting him, maybe that's what she had against him though I had no idea what that was.

"No, Evelyn. Let it go."

"Fine fine, hun. Whatever! Where to then?"

"It has to be big enough to be able to snag someone that it wouldn't stand out, somewhere with a high crime rate." I added.

"Atlanta! I use to love living there! It was so easy to blend in and I do miss that place. People go missing all the time and bodies show up daily. Perfect place for a predator" Evelyn's eyes glowed again, she decided where we were going.

We were going to travel by foot. The fact that we were going to travel by foot across two states would have sounded insane at the least, but it was safer than flying! Not the fact that the plain might crash (even though we'd walk away from it) but the fact that it's safer for "our kind." With flying, you need an I.D and all of that, it just doesn't work in our world apparently. _"Just because we are vampires, doesn't mean we need humans knowing our names or anything about us, we stay out of their world, completely." _Most of the time, Evelyn seemed way more paranoid than anyone should be, even a human. It gave me satisfaction though, to see her jump at noises like something could actually scared that bitch. I wish that something would get her, that karma would finally fuck her shit up, but it's not going to happen. Karma doesn't seem very interested in us._  
_

"We leave in a few hours. Don't take anything, Bella. It'll be useless anyway. We go and we'll get a couple of people. There's this place underground, literally, where I lived there. Nobody ever goes there since there's been killings." She scoffed at the word killing. "It's ours."

"We shouldn't change any more than one person, Evelyn. They're going to be impossible to control, the Volturi will notice." I said, half terrified. I could see the look in her eye that she was going to change a lot of people; the power was really getting to her now.

"Nonsense! We can control them!"

"No, we won't be able to!" Roy spoke up to back me up. "You'll end up killing us all." Evelyn stood up and walked over to me.

"Listen, you fucking bitch. We're doing this my way. We're going to change as many people as I want, where I want and when I want. This is my plan. Unless you want to take a trip to see the Volturi!" Her words scared me more than the rage in her eyes. The Volturi. The one thing she had against me, the one thing that would make me do anything.

"And you. Go against me, just one more time. I dare you." You could almost see the venom pouring out of her lips when she spoke to Roy.

"Your way is going to get us killed." Roy stood up and walked into the forest while glancing at me in the corner of his eye. I knew he wanted me to follow him. I desperately needed to talk to him.

"I'll go talk to him, calm him down. You stay here, okay? I'll fix this." The words were out of my mouth before I could think of them. She looked up at me and nodded, walking the other way. This was my only chance, and be dammed if I was going to take it!


	9. Secrets

_AN: A short but much needed chapter. Thanks for reading, it is GREATLY appreciated. A huge thanks to Godisgood3, you truly are amazing! R&R_

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I followed Roy's scent into the woods, barely focusing on where I was going. I kept thinking of what to ask him, what he could say. I wondered if I really wanted to know, but I knew deep down I did. I don't know why, honestly if it were anyone else I wouldn't even bother. I had no idea why I was so fascinated by him. I had seen him murder my mother. But I knew he didn't want to do it, I just knew it. I don't blame him, I blame Evelyn. I know, I just know that she's holding something over his head like she is doing to me. But that's still not a good excuse. It doesn't mean I'm soft, that I do like vampires. It just means that I still have a bit of my humanity left. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather every vampire in the world just stop existing, myself including. But I still have human emotions, some. It's hard to explain, and I'm probably not doing a good job but it's the truth. I don't truly know why I want to know about Roy, maybe he could help me some day. I don't know. I just don't know.

"Bella." Roy walked out from behind a tree, running his hand through his hair.

"I need to know about you Roy. I need to know why you're going along with her." My voice was shaky but I wouldn't give up.

"Bella, it's a long, old story." Roy turned from me and placed his hands on his hips.

"It's the least you can do for me." I spat at him and he spun around.

"I never wanted to do any of this! This is not what I wanted!" Roy sounded angry and it took me off guard, I rarely herd him raise his voice, except for when he told Evelyn that she was going to get us killed.

"Tell me." I pressed on, my voice sounding less mean and more sympathetic. "What happened to you?"

"I was changed ten years ago... I was in a car accident in Seattle and was dying fast, blood loss. A vein in my arm was cut and I was bleeding so fast... I didn't hear any sirens, I knew nobody was coming. I could feel myself go cold, to die. And that's when I saw her..." He turned away from me and took a few steps forward. "I honestly thought she was an angel. She was so beautiful to me and I thought she was going to take me away, to Heaven. The next thing I know is I'm back at my house and I'm different. I had no idea what I was. When I woke up...She was laying besides me. She told me to follow her and I did. I had no idea what was going on! My mother was dead on the floor, her neck cut. My father was sitting in the chair, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. She told me that if I didn't go with her, that if I didn't follow her and do what she says that she was going to kill him. She told me exactly how she planned to kill him, in the most brutal way. It's like you Bella, you're too scared to disobey her because of your friends. I'm the same way. I never wanted to hurt you or make you do this, but with her there's no choice, only to follow her. But it won't matter. She got a taste of power and is going to end up making a scene, the Volturi will be notified. We will all die." His eyes were pleading with me, but no matter how much I tried to understand and sympathize, I knew I could never forgive him.

"You did to me what she did to you. You didn't give me a choice. You didn't have to change me, you know. You could have just bit me and pretended to lose control. You could have just killed me and I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have to deal with this. You never gave me a fucking choice!" I turned from him, leaving him behind me. I mean, I do understand what he was saying. I understand why he did everything, the same reason why I'm going to change people against their will. Call me a hypocrite and you'll be correct. But I just can't bring myself to forgive him. He could have just killed me like he did with my parents, then none of this would have been happening. They could have found someone to change without a family. Maybe a serial killer who already liked killing people, or a junkie who wouldn't care anyway. There were so many other options than to drag me through this fucked up mess.

I sped out of the forest and I knew Roy was right behind me. I turned the corner and Evelyn was waiting, her eyes boring into me.

"Is everything done now? Everyone knows everyone's secrets?" She didn't wait for us to answer and continued speaking. "Good. We're all leaving now, let's go. It's this way." She sped away and we stayed on her trail. I could feel Roy staring at me and I knew he was pleading me again, but he was just a disgusting as every other vampire out there. I don't care about him or his past, it was a mistake to be curious. And I regretted it already. I looked out of the corner of my eye and he was still silently pleading me.

_"Leave me the fuck alone." _I said using my handy gift, and he never looked at me the rest of the way.


End file.
